She works hard for the money!

Arriving home at 11:35pm is not uncommon for me. Tonight it was a little different. I get to my street and find myself stuck behind a P plater right outside my house. This is confusing. I thought maybe someone has just arrived home with a friend, and the friend was saying goodbye. This was not the case. I turned my car around and parked in my usual spot; got out and walked towards the gate. As I got closer the guy standing there asks me if I'm "right" to which I reply, "Yes, yes I am. What's going on?" Before he could answer, some drug fucked old woman comes down the stairs yelling "Nah! Don't worry! It's not them!" She walks past me and then stops to tell me her life story:
"Ah, how you going? I was lookin' for the guy who used to live here before ya! How are ya anyway? Good to meet ya. You're lucky he's not here! There woulda been a murder in this house tonight! I was gonna cut his head off! I just got outta jail for 12 years, and this guy Rob owes me a bunch of money! He ripped me off. But I know where his other houses are. He's in brunswick, one's getting built." She tried shaking my hand half through her rant, but rather than let her take my whole hand in hers, I kinda just poked her hand with my index finger hoping she'd go away. She eventually did when he getaway gang kept telling her to hurry up.
I finally got upstairs to the front door to find everything locked. My key wasn't working so finally someone came and opened the door for me. Once inside I heard the tale of how this woman beat hard on the door with a tomahawk and then told my housemate everything I heard down on the street.
When we first moved in we joked that the guy here before us was some drug dealer of some kind. Then clues built up. Police stuff in the mail, court orders... An evidence bag. And now this.

I hope Underbelly does a suburban episode.