All New Gladiators.

I watched Gladiators last night because my brother wanted to see it (he's 11). I sat there playing DS and glancing up from time to time, and noticed the blue male challenger:



I thought to myself that this guy looks very familiar, and I knew I'd seen him somewhere before. It was about 10 minutes later when it finally hit me:

NSFW, btw

I spent the rest of the show laughing every time he was on screen.

Also, for those interested he failed every challenge. He should have stuck to his other profession.

Ken Lee

tulibu dibu douchooo
"What language was that?"
"English"
AHAHAHAHAHA

Electric Retard

Probably the most disgusting, distasteful comic I have ever seen. It's pretty hard trying to stomach the 23 or so comics on this website. I have seen so much screwed up stuff but these comics are vile.
http://www.electricretard.com/0023.html

Underrated Pop Song #2

Underrated Pop Song #1

Ironically, this song is called "Overrated", but it's by one of the members of the Sugababes and I can't get enough of it:

Dr. Tran!

Skins - Season 1

I heard about this show many months ago, but it wasn't until last week that I finally got around to watching it, and boy am I really glad I did. For starters I just kinda love the British party culture, so when they throw that together with a crazy bunch of teenagers you're in store for some very fun viewing.
Each episode follows a different character through something fairly major happening in their life this week. One girl has an eating disorder, there's another kid in love with his best friend's girlfriend, and one in love with his teacher. I know it sounds a little cliched; and it is. But it's where it differs from the cliched O.C style drama that really sucks me in. They show the sex, and violence and swearing and drugs and drinking. It's a little silly at times but it's easy for me to forgive because it makes me smile.
The episodes range from light-hearted comedy episodes, to hardcore drug-fucked episodes. So sometimes you'll sit there enjoying the whacky adventures of middle-class teens, and the next you'll be scared for a character because they're a "fooking twat" for not doing the sensible thing.
I'm not sure how long they'll be able to go with the teenagers who just like to party and do drugs and all their problems in between before it gets old, but for a first season I thoroughly enjoyed it and I'm really looking forward to season 2.

4/5

Film: The Diving Bell And The Butterfly

Quite simply, the most original and exceptional film I have seen this year. It restored my faith in stories that have yet to be told in cinema and in stylistic approaches that have yet to be employed.

From imdb:
"Elle editor Jean-Dominique Bauby suffered a stroke that paralyzed his entire body, except his left eye. Using that eye to blink out his memoir, Bauby eloquently described the aspects of his interior world, from the psychological torment of being trapped inside his body to his imagined stories from lands he'd only visited in his mind.”

The imagery is rich, cinematically speaking and symbolically too. A significant majority of the film is from a first person perspective using POV (point-of-view) camera. The story is interspersed with sequences of imagined vignettes.

The film ends with a Tom Waits song.

*****/5

If all reviewers and critics were like this, and not two old farts with less personality than my pet slug Larry, I might give a damn what they have to say. Fuck you David and Margret. I hope someone stabs your eyes out with small needles.

Pussy

Jennifer.

Jennifer is my girlfriend. As you can see, she is absolutely beautiful. We met in St John Ambulance about a year and a half ago and had absolutely no contact for the first year apart from the occasional excuse me. Obviously I thought she was gorgeous but never thought anything of it. My interest peaked in her while on duty at a cancer charity event where flirting first began. After that, email addresses were exchanged and we began to know each other outside the military like uniformity of St John Ambulance meetings. My being her superior as well as an officer in our particular division, our ever increasing relationship had to be kept secret from the eyes of other St Johns members. This added a sense of excitement, what we were doing was against the rules. Present day we are official in the eyes of our friends and MY parents, however the esteemed St John organization would still look down upon our fraternization so their knowing must wait until she is also an officer. Her parents likewise are likely to make a complaint to St John saying that I abused my station of power, watev. Now the kicker, the one that everyone still reading this will roll their eyes to, I love her. Yes that’s right I’m in love at the age of 19. I can’t stand to be away from her. I love the way her eyes light up when she smiles, I love her innocent outlook on life, I love the way she personally cares for everyone and everything whether it affects her personally or not. I love the way she hugs, the way she kisses, the way she’s constantly battling with her fringe. Society be damned.

Love.

She works hard for the money!

Arriving home at 11:35pm is not uncommon for me. Tonight it was a little different. I get to my street and find myself stuck behind a P plater right outside my house. This is confusing. I thought maybe someone has just arrived home with a friend, and the friend was saying goodbye. This was not the case. I turned my car around and parked in my usual spot; got out and walked towards the gate. As I got closer the guy standing there asks me if I'm "right" to which I reply, "Yes, yes I am. What's going on?" Before he could answer, some drug fucked old woman comes down the stairs yelling "Nah! Don't worry! It's not them!" She walks past me and then stops to tell me her life story:
"Ah, how you going? I was lookin' for the guy who used to live here before ya! How are ya anyway? Good to meet ya. You're lucky he's not here! There woulda been a murder in this house tonight! I was gonna cut his head off! I just got outta jail for 12 years, and this guy Rob owes me a bunch of money! He ripped me off. But I know where his other houses are. He's in brunswick, one's getting built." She tried shaking my hand half through her rant, but rather than let her take my whole hand in hers, I kinda just poked her hand with my index finger hoping she'd go away. She eventually did when he getaway gang kept telling her to hurry up.
I finally got upstairs to the front door to find everything locked. My key wasn't working so finally someone came and opened the door for me. Once inside I heard the tale of how this woman beat hard on the door with a tomahawk and then told my housemate everything I heard down on the street.
When we first moved in we joked that the guy here before us was some drug dealer of some kind. Then clues built up. Police stuff in the mail, court orders... An evidence bag. And now this.

I hope Underbelly does a suburban episode.

Barely Bearable Barebacking Bears*

I imagine your heart rate increases if you ass fuck without a condom. To engage in an act which could lead to your eventual contraction of HIV, knowingly, willingly. This is called “barebacking”. It’s thrilling to think that there are men who, in spite of the known risks, make a conscious decision to never wear rubbers. Of course there are the casual barebackers, but then there are those who are resolute in their choice.

Why, might you ask, would a poofter risk it? I think for some, it is because of the warm feeling that is infinitely richer in the absence of a condom. The moisture is more intense. Then there are those for whom condoms are a hassle, monetarily and preparation-wise. And then there are those who, I like to speculate, never wear condoms because they prize that increase in heartbeat, which is afforded an individual when they’re doing something wrong. Basic Instinct 2 called it risk addiction. There’s nothing noble about getting HIV, but there’s drama in the risk and there’s drama in the proposed consequence.

I am not advocating barebacking. I just find the motivations that surround it intriguing and as a voyeur, slightly arousing.

*title compliments of Rutherford Jones

And now, an editorial rant

You know what I hate? I mean other than reality television, people with annoying laughs and those who use the world ‘do-able’. What I hate is porn stars who think they’re comedians.

Yeah, the video starts up nicely, cute girl (or guy, or shemale if that’s your thing) and the camera pans around to give you a better view. Then, of course you have the obligatory American jackass pornographer who thinks he’s God’s gift to women and acts in an accordingly slimy manner, they make irritating small talk which you inevitably skip through, and then they get to the action. What follows is that one usually goes down on the other, making disturbingly idiotic comments which you can overlook due to the lack of a writer or any kind of acting talent, but after that it gets better, right? Wrong.

No, things are still awkward. There’s still a little tension in the air. So the girl/guy/shemale makes a little joke to break the ice. This is where the cartoon ‘screeching to a halt’ sound effects would be inserted. What the hell was that? I don’t want your lame excuses for ‘jokes’ in my video. I don’t want your nervous giggles or failed attempts at being coy. I don’t want any of that, and I don’t expect it from you. It’s exactly the same reason I don’t go to comedy clubs to see hardcore sex. For one thing, most comics aren’t attractive, and the view isn’t usually that great, but mainly it’s because you stick to what you’re good at. If you’re a natural comedian, fine, go on tour and do stand-up. If your only talent is deep-throating, then don’t act like it’s amateur night at the fucking Apollo Theatre.

More to the point, I’m watching your video for one reason, and I’m fairly sure that isn’t to laugh. If I want to watch something funny, I’ll take the Venture Bros. or Flight of the Conchords. I don't want witty repartee or banter, I don't want you to get the girl talking. The only thing I'd need to hear would be her name, so that in the event that she's actually any good, I could look up some more videos of her. I don’t need you people joking, and I don’t need your lame excuses for commentary, either. This isn’t a DVD, I don’t care about what happens ‘behind the scenes’ and I certainly don’t need the camera man to provide a running commentary about what is being inserted where.

My economy

The economic principle, by definition, states that:

• Consumer wants are insatiable and unlimited

• The economic resources used to satisfy those wants however, are scarce and limited

Economics. Hits. Home.

I love your voice, it sounds like a slurpee

I reluctantly went to Mardi Gras. Before the parade we went into Star Bar and I had 3 house wines, even though while on my tablets I was not supposed to. Then there’s a blur. According to unreliable sources, I went into a girl’s bathroom and frightened some young Asian girls, with whom I remember having a discussion earlier in the evening, about Vanessa’s So You Think You Can Dance chances. Then I recall being at the Elizabeth street sidelines of the parade and watching the floats float by and then some old guy telling me, “I’ll pop you to the fucking ground if you do that again.” I forget what I did the first time that inspired such an agro response. And then in Hyde Park I regained relative consciousness. We watched the parade from the big screen television. I kept hugging Shannon, we were both so lonely and she’s a great hug. Then there was walking, lots of walking. I slapped asses in the interim to keep myself entertained, I’m not sure all the old men noticed. We met up with guys and gals from our old year group and waltzed around with them. When saying hi to one of the guys, I said congenially, “Hi Chris!!!” to which he replied “I’m John.” Chris or John is so funny. I was dressed for the occasion, wearing Tim’s tight flannel; I looked like a faggot cowboy. And I had white leather shoes and tight jeans. Hannah got 2 ecstasy tablets; she took one and sold the other to Trent for $50, who then halved it between him and his girlfriend. He got ripped off in his desperation.

We got bored of walking in the city. Hannah’s voice sounded like a slurpee because of the ecstasy, so in the taxi home I told her “I love your voice, it sounds like a slurpee”, which it did. Back at Shannon’s mansion we played Stripjack (Strip Blackjack). We ate scones with raspberry jam in her living room half-naked. Shannon won, but in a way we all won because we got to see a lot of nudity.