I'm back baby!

Prepare yourselves!

Confusion

*ring ring*
Me - Hello?
Craig - Hey dude how's it going
Me - oh holy shit, we totally connect man, I was thinking about you just before and then boom you ring, crazy
Craig - haha that's crazy
Me - I think we were mean't to be together!
Craig - haha okay
Me - I've been listening to that Portishead album, it's good huh?
Craig - Never heard of them
Me - I thought you told me the other day that you enjoy the latest album
Craig - Nah, wasn't me
Me - Oh okay, Oh have you heard the new wolf parade album, I'm pretty excited for it, sounds more like sunset rubdown though, but it should be fun!
Craig - Who?
Me - (laughs)
Craig - By the way I Just wondering what you were doing right now, Luke has a new setup at his home, he got bluray we should check it out
Me - um....
Craig - Should be pretty cool
Me - oh....who is this?
Craig - Craig
Me - Craig? really?
Craig - (laughs) Yes
Me - You're fucking with me, you don't sound totally different
Craig - Who did you thought it was?
Me - Oh just a friend, Oliver
Craig - Oh right, I've got a cold
Me - You sound exactly like him, far out, okay I'll come over

*end conversation*

Zoo Weekly's Real Girls Competition

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Slow my bitch up..

Serial Killer

"Annoyed"

I dont hate her though...

Don't get me wrong, her RECENT stuff is really good, also she's hot in this. Transformations FTW.

Most hair flicks in a music video.

Also, she manages to wear more outfits than I have worn in an entire year and still have every single one of them look crap. "Flip your goddamn hair.."

I have a job interview with

McDonalds

All New Gladiators.

I watched Gladiators last night because my brother wanted to see it (he's 11). I sat there playing DS and glancing up from time to time, and noticed the blue male challenger:



I thought to myself that this guy looks very familiar, and I knew I'd seen him somewhere before. It was about 10 minutes later when it finally hit me:

NSFW, btw

I spent the rest of the show laughing every time he was on screen.

Also, for those interested he failed every challenge. He should have stuck to his other profession.

Ken Lee

tulibu dibu douchooo
"What language was that?"
"English"
AHAHAHAHAHA

Electric Retard

Probably the most disgusting, distasteful comic I have ever seen. It's pretty hard trying to stomach the 23 or so comics on this website. I have seen so much screwed up stuff but these comics are vile.
http://www.electricretard.com/0023.html

Underrated Pop Song #2

Underrated Pop Song #1

Ironically, this song is called "Overrated", but it's by one of the members of the Sugababes and I can't get enough of it:

Dr. Tran!

Skins - Season 1

I heard about this show many months ago, but it wasn't until last week that I finally got around to watching it, and boy am I really glad I did. For starters I just kinda love the British party culture, so when they throw that together with a crazy bunch of teenagers you're in store for some very fun viewing.
Each episode follows a different character through something fairly major happening in their life this week. One girl has an eating disorder, there's another kid in love with his best friend's girlfriend, and one in love with his teacher. I know it sounds a little cliched; and it is. But it's where it differs from the cliched O.C style drama that really sucks me in. They show the sex, and violence and swearing and drugs and drinking. It's a little silly at times but it's easy for me to forgive because it makes me smile.
The episodes range from light-hearted comedy episodes, to hardcore drug-fucked episodes. So sometimes you'll sit there enjoying the whacky adventures of middle-class teens, and the next you'll be scared for a character because they're a "fooking twat" for not doing the sensible thing.
I'm not sure how long they'll be able to go with the teenagers who just like to party and do drugs and all their problems in between before it gets old, but for a first season I thoroughly enjoyed it and I'm really looking forward to season 2.

4/5

Film: The Diving Bell And The Butterfly

Quite simply, the most original and exceptional film I have seen this year. It restored my faith in stories that have yet to be told in cinema and in stylistic approaches that have yet to be employed.

From imdb:
"Elle editor Jean-Dominique Bauby suffered a stroke that paralyzed his entire body, except his left eye. Using that eye to blink out his memoir, Bauby eloquently described the aspects of his interior world, from the psychological torment of being trapped inside his body to his imagined stories from lands he'd only visited in his mind.”

The imagery is rich, cinematically speaking and symbolically too. A significant majority of the film is from a first person perspective using POV (point-of-view) camera. The story is interspersed with sequences of imagined vignettes.

The film ends with a Tom Waits song.

*****/5

If all reviewers and critics were like this, and not two old farts with less personality than my pet slug Larry, I might give a damn what they have to say. Fuck you David and Margret. I hope someone stabs your eyes out with small needles.

Pussy

Jennifer.

Jennifer is my girlfriend. As you can see, she is absolutely beautiful. We met in St John Ambulance about a year and a half ago and had absolutely no contact for the first year apart from the occasional excuse me. Obviously I thought she was gorgeous but never thought anything of it. My interest peaked in her while on duty at a cancer charity event where flirting first began. After that, email addresses were exchanged and we began to know each other outside the military like uniformity of St John Ambulance meetings. My being her superior as well as an officer in our particular division, our ever increasing relationship had to be kept secret from the eyes of other St Johns members. This added a sense of excitement, what we were doing was against the rules. Present day we are official in the eyes of our friends and MY parents, however the esteemed St John organization would still look down upon our fraternization so their knowing must wait until she is also an officer. Her parents likewise are likely to make a complaint to St John saying that I abused my station of power, watev. Now the kicker, the one that everyone still reading this will roll their eyes to, I love her. Yes that’s right I’m in love at the age of 19. I can’t stand to be away from her. I love the way her eyes light up when she smiles, I love her innocent outlook on life, I love the way she personally cares for everyone and everything whether it affects her personally or not. I love the way she hugs, the way she kisses, the way she’s constantly battling with her fringe. Society be damned.

Love.

She works hard for the money!

Arriving home at 11:35pm is not uncommon for me. Tonight it was a little different. I get to my street and find myself stuck behind a P plater right outside my house. This is confusing. I thought maybe someone has just arrived home with a friend, and the friend was saying goodbye. This was not the case. I turned my car around and parked in my usual spot; got out and walked towards the gate. As I got closer the guy standing there asks me if I'm "right" to which I reply, "Yes, yes I am. What's going on?" Before he could answer, some drug fucked old woman comes down the stairs yelling "Nah! Don't worry! It's not them!" She walks past me and then stops to tell me her life story:
"Ah, how you going? I was lookin' for the guy who used to live here before ya! How are ya anyway? Good to meet ya. You're lucky he's not here! There woulda been a murder in this house tonight! I was gonna cut his head off! I just got outta jail for 12 years, and this guy Rob owes me a bunch of money! He ripped me off. But I know where his other houses are. He's in brunswick, one's getting built." She tried shaking my hand half through her rant, but rather than let her take my whole hand in hers, I kinda just poked her hand with my index finger hoping she'd go away. She eventually did when he getaway gang kept telling her to hurry up.
I finally got upstairs to the front door to find everything locked. My key wasn't working so finally someone came and opened the door for me. Once inside I heard the tale of how this woman beat hard on the door with a tomahawk and then told my housemate everything I heard down on the street.
When we first moved in we joked that the guy here before us was some drug dealer of some kind. Then clues built up. Police stuff in the mail, court orders... An evidence bag. And now this.

I hope Underbelly does a suburban episode.

Barely Bearable Barebacking Bears*

I imagine your heart rate increases if you ass fuck without a condom. To engage in an act which could lead to your eventual contraction of HIV, knowingly, willingly. This is called “barebacking”. It’s thrilling to think that there are men who, in spite of the known risks, make a conscious decision to never wear rubbers. Of course there are the casual barebackers, but then there are those who are resolute in their choice.

Why, might you ask, would a poofter risk it? I think for some, it is because of the warm feeling that is infinitely richer in the absence of a condom. The moisture is more intense. Then there are those for whom condoms are a hassle, monetarily and preparation-wise. And then there are those who, I like to speculate, never wear condoms because they prize that increase in heartbeat, which is afforded an individual when they’re doing something wrong. Basic Instinct 2 called it risk addiction. There’s nothing noble about getting HIV, but there’s drama in the risk and there’s drama in the proposed consequence.

I am not advocating barebacking. I just find the motivations that surround it intriguing and as a voyeur, slightly arousing.

*title compliments of Rutherford Jones

And now, an editorial rant

You know what I hate? I mean other than reality television, people with annoying laughs and those who use the world ‘do-able’. What I hate is porn stars who think they’re comedians.

Yeah, the video starts up nicely, cute girl (or guy, or shemale if that’s your thing) and the camera pans around to give you a better view. Then, of course you have the obligatory American jackass pornographer who thinks he’s God’s gift to women and acts in an accordingly slimy manner, they make irritating small talk which you inevitably skip through, and then they get to the action. What follows is that one usually goes down on the other, making disturbingly idiotic comments which you can overlook due to the lack of a writer or any kind of acting talent, but after that it gets better, right? Wrong.

No, things are still awkward. There’s still a little tension in the air. So the girl/guy/shemale makes a little joke to break the ice. This is where the cartoon ‘screeching to a halt’ sound effects would be inserted. What the hell was that? I don’t want your lame excuses for ‘jokes’ in my video. I don’t want your nervous giggles or failed attempts at being coy. I don’t want any of that, and I don’t expect it from you. It’s exactly the same reason I don’t go to comedy clubs to see hardcore sex. For one thing, most comics aren’t attractive, and the view isn’t usually that great, but mainly it’s because you stick to what you’re good at. If you’re a natural comedian, fine, go on tour and do stand-up. If your only talent is deep-throating, then don’t act like it’s amateur night at the fucking Apollo Theatre.

More to the point, I’m watching your video for one reason, and I’m fairly sure that isn’t to laugh. If I want to watch something funny, I’ll take the Venture Bros. or Flight of the Conchords. I don't want witty repartee or banter, I don't want you to get the girl talking. The only thing I'd need to hear would be her name, so that in the event that she's actually any good, I could look up some more videos of her. I don’t need you people joking, and I don’t need your lame excuses for commentary, either. This isn’t a DVD, I don’t care about what happens ‘behind the scenes’ and I certainly don’t need the camera man to provide a running commentary about what is being inserted where.

My economy

The economic principle, by definition, states that:

• Consumer wants are insatiable and unlimited

• The economic resources used to satisfy those wants however, are scarce and limited

Economics. Hits. Home.

I love your voice, it sounds like a slurpee

I reluctantly went to Mardi Gras. Before the parade we went into Star Bar and I had 3 house wines, even though while on my tablets I was not supposed to. Then there’s a blur. According to unreliable sources, I went into a girl’s bathroom and frightened some young Asian girls, with whom I remember having a discussion earlier in the evening, about Vanessa’s So You Think You Can Dance chances. Then I recall being at the Elizabeth street sidelines of the parade and watching the floats float by and then some old guy telling me, “I’ll pop you to the fucking ground if you do that again.” I forget what I did the first time that inspired such an agro response. And then in Hyde Park I regained relative consciousness. We watched the parade from the big screen television. I kept hugging Shannon, we were both so lonely and she’s a great hug. Then there was walking, lots of walking. I slapped asses in the interim to keep myself entertained, I’m not sure all the old men noticed. We met up with guys and gals from our old year group and waltzed around with them. When saying hi to one of the guys, I said congenially, “Hi Chris!!!” to which he replied “I’m John.” Chris or John is so funny. I was dressed for the occasion, wearing Tim’s tight flannel; I looked like a faggot cowboy. And I had white leather shoes and tight jeans. Hannah got 2 ecstasy tablets; she took one and sold the other to Trent for $50, who then halved it between him and his girlfriend. He got ripped off in his desperation.

We got bored of walking in the city. Hannah’s voice sounded like a slurpee because of the ecstasy, so in the taxi home I told her “I love your voice, it sounds like a slurpee”, which it did. Back at Shannon’s mansion we played Stripjack (Strip Blackjack). We ate scones with raspberry jam in her living room half-naked. Shannon won, but in a way we all won because we got to see a lot of nudity.

Acid

See now I don't need to try acid when music videos like this exist, really REALLY REALLLLY HORRIBLE CRAZY ASSS VIDEOS LIKE THIS...

Cruises are bad, mmmkay

My afternoon

Mum: How was your first day at university?
Me: Yeah, really good. Pretty much what I expected.
Mum: Oh that’s good. Understanding is half the battle.
Me: Yep.
Mum: So with your 21st birthday, did you still want to go on a cruise?
Me: Yeah, I think it’d be fun. But it’s like 3 years away.
Mum: (aggressively) You know that cruises are all about bonking and drinking yourself stupid? Is that what you’re about, is it?
Me: (in a where-the-fuck-did-that-come-from tone) I hadn’t really thought about it that much.
*I depart*

Gosh whadda beeatch. It's not like she's having her period at 54.

Bank Wank

Eric Bana had been swimming in my brain and sparking my arousal all afternoon. It was in the 3 o’clock brightness of my office that he nudged gently at my loins. My eyes began to twinkle with anticipation. My lips inverted to grin. I was even more turned on than Energy Australia. And the Oscars were on tonight and I’d want to gawk at the fashion disasters in the pre-awards show. There’d be no saying hello to my monster at home. I had to spank my monkey at the Reserve Bank, it was my only opportunity for Bana-rific release. My heartbeat amplified with each impending step towards the Level 16 bathrooms, where I knew I’d be uninterrupted. And there was an ambience in those newly refurbished lavatories, where the lighting was soft and sexy. I closed the door of the farthest cubicle reserved for disabled people, in a way I felt crippled without any visual stimuli, so it felt appropriate. My mind’s eye would have to serve my increasingly stiffening cock. My visualisations were continually interrupted by the sounds of the troth's waterfalls, which would spray at intermittent moments. But Eric Bana was a stunner naked. And he was joined irregularly by Daniel Craig and Clive Owen. I could not focus on Eric's partner. The sound of my shirt cuff against my shirt stomach sounded violent; there was an urgency in my yanking. In another life, I might be a master at creating forest campfires with just two sticks and some friction.

It was coming. I was coming. Relief in the release. I splurged into some folded up toilet paper. The wave of endorphins battled with my reason, which was trying to avoid staining the office uniform I was wearing. It’s remarkably difficult to aim when your brain is howling with ecstasy. I managed to secure the majority of my discharge in the bum paper, however the toilet seat was white so nobody’s to know if my unborn children are still sticking to the cool surface.

4 minutes later, when I returned to my desk, everything was new. The surfaces of the office equipment were glowing with the purity of semen. The walls were no longer a dull white but an illuminating representation of my emission, the act was complimented by the surroundings. Heaven truly is a place on earth.

Smh: R-rated games may be on shelves soon

The most violent video games around could soon be sold in Australia after the Federal Government said it was considering updating the classification system for games to include an R18+ rating.

Unlike films, magazines and other publications, there is no adult classification for games in Australia, so any titles that do not meet the MA15+ standard - such as those with excessive violence or sexual content - are simply banned from sale by the Classification Board.

Any changes to the censorship regime must be agreed to by the Commonwealth and all state and territory attorneys-general. The previous government was reluctant to put the issue on the agenda.

But a spokeswoman for the Minister for Home Affairs, Bob Debus, confirmed the issue of "whether or not to allow an R18+ classification" for games would be discussed by censorship ministers at the next Standing Committee of attorneys-general (SCAG) meeting on March 28. It will be the first time the issue is discussed since November 2005.

Claire Bowdler, spokeswoman for the Classification Board, said 18 games had been banned since 2001. Eight of the games had their bans lifted after they were modified and resubmitted.

The most recent game to be axed by the board was the sci-fi themed shooting game Dark Sector, which was refused classification this month.

The reason given by the Classification Board was that it contained graphic violence including "decapitation, dismemberment of limbs accompanied by large blood spurts, neck breaking spurts, neck breaking twists and exploded bodies with post-action twitching body parts".

Last year, Blitz: The League was banned because it contained drug use related to incentives or rewards, while Soldier of Fortune: Payback was banned for excessive violence. The ban on the latter was lifted after content changes by its publisher, Activision.

Other recently banned games include Mark Ecko's Getting Up: Contents Under Pressure (for promoting graffiti), BMX XXX (for sexual content) and Reservoir Dogs (for high levels of violence including the ability to shoot the heads off of hostages during a bank heist).

After learning of the ban on his game, millionaire New York fashion designer Mark Ecko said: "... to blame gaming for everything that is inherently wrong in our homes, in our schools and on our streets is much easier to do than to actually figure out ways to fix the systemic problems that exist within our culture."

The games industry has long argued that the censorship regime is unnecessarily draconian and prevents adults from making their own decisions as to the type of content they consume. It has called for the classification system to be harmonised across all types of media.

Research conducted by Bond University in Queensland for the industry body, the Interactive Entertainment Association of Australia (IEAA), found that the average age of Australian gamers is 28 and over 50 per cent of gamers are over 18.

Another survey of 1601 Australian households, conducted by the university in 2005, found 88 per cent of Australians supported an R18+ classification for games.

Bond University associate professor Jeffrey Brand, who authored the research, said Australia was the "only developed democracy" that did not have an adult classification for games.

He said the lack of an R18+ rating meant some games deserving of adult classification were being let through by the Classification Board as MA15+. And Australians who wanted to obtain banned games could easily source them from the internet or overseas, he said.

"These games are entering the marketplace despite the classification restriction, and so very often parents, who in some cases are the least savvy in the household about games, are unaware that this adult content exists," Dr Brand said.

But Angela Conway, spokeswoman for the Australian Family Association, said even M-rated games currently on the market had "concerning" levels of violent and sexual content.

"We would be opposed to the adoption of an R-rated category because we believe that research is pointing to the fact that these games actually do impact behaviour and psychology more easily than a film," she said.

"Our big concern is that there is a continual [positive] reinforcement for players actually acting out violent and sexual impulses ... this sort of technology has actually been used to desensitise soldiers ... and retrain them and break down their defences against killing."

Ron Curry, CEO of the IEAA, said it would be up to states and territories and games retailers to ensure those under 18 could not purchase R18+ games. He said he would "absolutely support" compulsory ID checks by stores.

http://www.smh.com.au/news/technology/violence-and-sex-may-get-thumbs-up/2008/02/22/1203467345267.html?page=2

---

Fingers crossed. I, personally, would love to play a button bashing game, where the faster I pressed X the quicker my protagonist thrusted his wang in the disfigured prostitute.

Interpol - Sydney, 21st February 2008

I saw Interpol in 2005 I believe and they were efficient then and they’re efficient now. Their live show is as sharp as their tailored suits. There were ambient interludes between songs, which acted as perfect reprieves from their grainy guitars. I hope they move into a more experimental direction, because their music is becoming too clean, too safe perhaps. However, it was a solid performance (predictably), with “The Lighthouse” and “Not Even Jail” being highlights for me.

Pioneer to the Falls
Obstacle 1
C’Mere
Narc
Say Hello to the Angels
Pace Is the Trick
Slow Hands
Hands Away
Mammoth
No I in Threesome
Rest My Chemistry
The Heinrich Manoeuvre
Evil
The Lighthouse
Not Even Jail

---encore---

Untitled
Stella Was a Diver and She Was Always Down
PDA

Emily Haines - Our Hell

My favourite music video of 2007. A tearjerker for a jerk. Emily Haines is one of the Broken Social Scene crew. I hope you enjoy this milky work of art.

Sins of the Father

I went to the supermarket last night because it was 9:30 and I still hadn't eaten cause there was no food in the house. I spent about 20 minutes there getting some ingredients for pizza. Tomato paste, bases, cherry tomatoes, chicken, ham, olives. Only 1 checkout was open so I had to stand around for another 10 minutes waiting to be served.
As I'm waiting I can hear from one of the aisles
".... too many people.... fuck!" followed by a much younger sounding, "...ah yeah...".
I turn towards the horrible, nasal voices and see 45 year old Bogan Senior followed by his red-haired son Bogan Junior. They continue to chat to each other while we're all waiting in the queue.
Now for some reason the checkout conveyor belt thing wasn't working, so I slide all my groceries up towards the checkout guy and the pack of cherry tomatoes opens and 5 or so spill out. This doesn't phase me as I know the whole pack won't get eaten anyway, but for some reason Bogan Snr decides that this is a good time to talk to me.

"Ya dropped some!" He yelled at me, through a chess board smile.
"Uh, yeah, thanks. I'm not gonna eat them anyway..."
"Ah, no worries, mate! Just run some water on 'em. Good as new!"
"Yep... I don't want them."

I get to pay for my stuff and leave, but as I leave I couldn't help but think that Bogan Jnr now has no choice in his future. Thanks to his dad he's gonna grow up to be just another bogan clone. And nothing short of amnesia is gonna change how this kid turns out in life. Is it the bogan's aim in life to make it so their kids get looked down upon in everything they do? Because if it is, it's really not fair on the kids. It really is a shame you can choose your friends but not your relatives.

HAT!

So you're downtown on a Friday night. You're with friends but it's a bit of a walk between bars. You guys need to play a game. May I suggest playing 'Hat!'? Hat! is a fun game for 2 or more players. The rules of the game are simple. When you see a hat, simply yell out 'HAT!' and points will be awarded according to the ridiculousness of the called hat. It's a fun game.

Y'see I'm not exactly the most trendy guy on the planet. But that said I do think I'm pretty cool and just maybe it's because I don't wear a hat when I head downtown on a friday night. Shit, I don't wear a hat at all. That's because hats are freaking stupid. Don't get me wrong if it's super bright outside and you need a hat go ahead - wear it, just try not to look like a rapper's turd.HAT!!!

Deathly Giggles.

I work in a hospital. I'm an Orderly, this is my job title. Personally I think a more appropriate title would be "Gofer" because its generally what I am told to do my entire day. Tim 'Go For' Mr Bennett - he's due for his embolisation. Tim 'Go Fer' two paxels of O negative - Mr Bennett is bleeding out. Tim 'Gofer' Mr Bennett's right hand side - we need to hold him still to stop the seizing. And finally, Tim 'Gofer' the M-trolley - Mr Bennett needs to be taken to the morgue.

I've been present at exactly three deaths in the eleven or so months I've been an Orderly. Every time it has had an extremely profound effect. The doctors and nurses I've spoken to about it say that I will get used to it - I don't think I necessarily want to. When someone dies you can feel a presence leave the room, almost like someone really has just walked out. I'm not religious so I'm not hinting that this could be any form of soul or other spiritual happening but I do find it interesting. Another thing I always find interesting is my knee-jerk reaction whenever this occurs...I get the giggles. I assume its got something to do with being nervous. Everyone in the room is so solemn, no one knows where to look, usually the doctor will be angry and cursing. The first time I just stared at the ground, my heart was beating so fast, just moments ago the room had been so full of activity - excitement - but now everyone was still. I started getting this nervous shaking deep in the pit of my stomach, working its way up into my chest. It came out initially as a cough and everyone looked in my direction - I turned and walked out the door holding my breath all the way to the bathroom where I burst into laughter.

The second time I wasn't so lucky, I wasn't able to excuse myself as they needed the CT machine, where the patient had arrested, to continue the days work - the body needed to be taken away. A nurse and I started unplugging the various cords and leads attached the the body I was shaking, holding it in but it came out - soft whimpering giggles they even sounded ashamed. I knew the varied people in the room were taking notice but I didn't look at any of them, hiding my eyes and busying myself with whatever I could - giggling all the while. A couple of days after this I found myself speaking so the staff psychologist who said it was really nothing more than a nervous reaction - there was nothing mentally wrong with me, I could have told her that an hour ago.

So now its just something I have to put up with. By the third time I didn't bother masking it. Hey, at least it lightens the mood.

The Sopran-ohs!

Apart from Twin Peaks, I've been looking for a new 'tv series' for me to watch on dvd lately since I've finished all of the ones I own. I'm already a little bored with Lost after watching the first 2 episodes of season 4 and Heroes does nothing for me. The other day in JB HI FI I walked past The Sopranos season 6: Final Episodes dvd and couldn't help but feel a little intrigued by Tony Sopranos menacing expression on the front cover.



Look at him! What is he thinking about? What has driven him to this violent gangster rage! I'm a marketers dream, I'm such a sucker! So I thought, what the hey! I'll get season 1 + 2 Sopranos on dvd.

I have to say, What a fabulous show, I highly recommand it to anyone who hasn't watched it (I'm aware that I'm recommending a show that just finished and has been running for around 7 years).

Anyway I never noticed this while watching the show but someone very clever edited some of the phrases from the show altogether that made me laugh.

BBC News: Suck My Dick Fuck Face

Restaurant sorry over F word bill

A restaurant owner has apologised after diners had their very own F word experience - without Gordon Ramsay.

Ten friends found the abusive and sexually-explicit message on their bill at Joe Delucci's Italian restaurant in Bird Street, Lichfield, Staffordshire.

Diner Clare Watkin said she thought it was written after they complained about poor service.

The party from Walsall had gone to the restaurant on Friday. Owner Nigel Langsdon has begun an investigation.

Ms Watkin said: "I couldn't believe it. The bill read 'fish cakes', which one of us had for a starter, and it was written right above it - absolutely disgusting language.

"We actually booked the table for 8 o' clock in the evening, by the time they had taken our order it was quarter to nine and we didn't actually receive our food until quarter past 10."

She added: "I'd like a written apology from the restaurant and I'd also like some compensation.

"I think that the way that we've been spoken to is absolutely outrageous."

TV chef Gordon Ramsay's foul-mouthed diatribes on his Channel 4 show The F Word have given viewers an insight into the type of language often used in the restaurant kitchen.

Joe Delucci's owner Mr Langsdon said the message had been meant to be seen only by kitchen staff and he did not know how it ended up as an item on the receipt.

He said: "That shouldn't come out on the bill, so we've got to find out what's gone wrong there.

"But we have apologised unreservedly to the girls concerned and said that they're very welcome to come back and have a free meal and we'd like them to."
He has also offered to donate the bill for their meal to charity.

The cost of the meal came to £284.68, including a 10% service charge.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/staffordshire/7253002.stm

---

I feel like they're not addressing the real issue here. They had fish cakes for starters? That's just foul.

YouTube: Benny Hinn

Waves of fun. I pretty much loathe the song that accompanies this but I can't really argue with its appropriateness: